Saturday, August 18, 2007
Melissa versus crazy world
My room is overwhelming me. Literally.
I've spent the majority of the morning attempting to clean my teeny little room and I feel like a crazy person because of how overwhelming it is for me to try and get organized. My sister C. came in and tried to encourage me and I explained to her that living in this room feels like being choked by a too-tight turtleneck sweater. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've lived in this room since I was 10 years old, but I feel like it's just a reminder of the rut that I've been stuck in lately. Ugh. Too much stuff, too little room, too little time.
This has just been one of those weeks where I'm convinced that the world is trying to drive me crazy. I try not to be one to bitch and moan about my station in life - though I'm always prepared for the worst I try to be optimistic - let me tell you, it is seriously me versus the crazy-ass world again all of a sudden. I won't bore you with all the gory details of course because a girl has to have her privacy, but I will say that my room is a good metaphor for the current state of my life. Ugh.
But I'm still hopeful, as always. And there were definite good times had this week, so maybe taking a few issues in stride will do me some good in the end.
I'm hoping that straightening out my room will lead to other, more significant and positive changes. Progress. Especially after Susan read my cards last night - she's such a talented reader! Everything that came up in my cards was so dead-on accurate, and probably the biggest thing that I took from my reading is that I have to really start motivating myself.
Though I haven't been able to accomplish much of anything outside of dealing with this week's batch of problems, I have managed to get a little bit of reading in there. No new writing really, but I've been doing some research for some future poems. Maybe things will calm down this week so I can get ready for my final semester at Lewis and start classes off on a positive note. In the meantime, it's back to work. So many things to organize........